Dear Maggie —

I swear I saw an event on the school calendar for The Family Dance, but I have searched high and low for details, and it seems to have disappeared from any communications.  I thought it was supposed to be this Friday.  Did I make this up?  As a gay dad, I’ve dreamed of being able to recreate that lift scene from Dirty Dancing, because nobody puts my baby in a corner.  We’ve had the time of our lives practicing the last few weeks. Minus that one time I lifted her up into the still-spinning ceiling fan.  To say that my husband was not pleased would be the understatement of the century.  Anyway, both my daughter and I would agree that we need a little bit more time to practice.  Plus, my husband has banned any further rehearsals for the foreseeable future.  Let me know if I’ve got some time to put the final touches on this dance number or not.

— Crazy For Swayze

Dear Crazy —

Yeah, I was wondering the same thing – so I reached out to the general PTA email and I got this response, weirdly, signed by no one.  

We’re just going to blame this on tariffs. Tariffs are the problem! #IAmGaslightingYou  #IsItWorking

OK, in reality, we tried to pull it off, but then we realized we were heading into Easter and the dance was supposed to be the very next week.  Whoops!  So, when push came to shove, we couldn’t find a DJ, we couldn’t get a committee together, and decorations from Oriental Trading Co. were 140% more expensive than last year (see, we told you it was because of tariffs!).  So, we decided to just pull it off the calendar, act like none of that ever happened, and hope that no one noticed – but it appears we didn’t get that lucky 🥴. Soooo, yeah, we-tried-but-it-just-but-it-wasnt-our-year-so-lets-all-just-move-on-and-put-a-plan-in-place-to-make-this-work-next-year-k-thanks-bye.

Like I said, weird, huh?  But I guess the good news is that apparently, you will have plenty of time to rehearse now.

— Maggie