Dear Maggie —
I wanted to contact you about something kind of disturbing that I witnessed at school last week. I saw what I think might have been a dragon, roaming the halls of several of the school buildings. A friend told me that she later witnessed this same creature out on the blacktop. As you can see from some of the photos I clandestinely snapped (below), in one instance, Mr. Holley and Ms. Stephens appear to look on with “very little concern” (I know we’re big on safety these days – but this image seems to display absolutely no regard for the school’s wellfare!), and even more upsetting is an instance in which it looks to be attacking Sr. Marie! Luckily, she has God on her side (and she’s one tough cookie!), so I imagine this fiend was no match for her (I’m guessing she likely soothed and distracted it with song). Do my eyes (and camera) deceive me – or is there true cause for concern? Being Scottish, I figured you were the best authority to give us the 4-1-1 on this 9-1-1 – is this the Loch Ness Monster at SMOS??
— Overreacting Olivia
Dear Overreacting —
Oh heavens, NO!! Let me hop in here to stop you from jumping to any more wrong conclusions! Our school is plenty safe – and no one on the staff was being callous or capricious about, nor assaulted by, this blue creature! And trust me, this cute guy is nothing like the LNM – or Nessie, as we like to call her (though she is oft-misunderstood as well – but that’s for another post someday; I’ve known her since she was a wee one – her mom and I were actually sorority sisters together!).
What you witnessed was a visit to the school from my fun-loving nephew (on my husband’s father’s side) – his name is Scottie! Meet Scottie the Dragon! The newest SMOS school mascot!!
Actually, if Scottie is guilty of anything, it’s being the original Scottish nepo baby! That kid has a gift for showing up at the right time and place for almost any event. And let’s just say he’s not exactly camera-shy, as your photos suggest. But with that winning smile and charisma, who could blame him?
Scottie is here in St. Louis, staying with me for a while, directly from Scotland. He came to the States as part of a sort of cultural exchange program. He is trading places with the old St. Louis Rams’ mascot, Ramster. In truth, Ramster has been down on his luck for quite some time, ever since the team retired him in the mid-90s (kinda tough being a mascot that appears to be part hamster, part rat!?!). He never quite landed on his feet again, and the last couple of years have seen a significant “decline”. But he’s now at a wonderful rehab facility in Edinburgh, and we wish him all the best! Plus, we get Scottie in the exchange – so yay for us!
You’ll be seeing Scottie around the school at different events like pep rallies, the Walk-A-Thon, Open House, etc. – even just randomly out on the playground sometimes (kinda like Bro-Do). He loves hobnobbing with the students, throwing around high-fives, and spreading school spirit. And the students were really thrilled to have him on campus last week. The big smiles and giggles said it all (funny, you didn’t get any photos of THAT?!?). It almost made me kind of jealous!
But I truly love having Scottie here and appreciate the help in the school spirit department. While he’s really great at peaking the kids’ excitement (although there was that one pre-schooler hiding behind her mom), my grocery bill has definitely taken the hit! Try feeding a 900-year-old teenage dragon (dragon years are similar to dog years). Plus, it allows me to focus more on you parents (man, you have a LOT of questions!?!) – plus, I’ve been binge-watching my latest obsession, The Pitt, ever since its Emmy win. Girl’s gotta have her priorities straight – and I can (Noah) Wylie away the hours with that show!
So, keep an eye out for Scottie this school year. You just never know where he might pop up. And have those cameras ready – cause unlike Nessie, he’s not hard to catch on film. It’s no hoax – this is one dragon whose existence we can confirm!
— Maggie