Dear Dragons,
I had a whole lineup of potential columns this week, thanks to the flood of questions in my inbox (plus one very entertaining spam email about a franchise opportunity for something called a “Clothes Bin”—whatever that is??). But all that went out the window the moment I opened my weather app and saw this weekend’s forecast: highs of 87°!!
Tell me—how am I supposed to rock knee-high boots, a wide-brimmed felt hat, and a faux Burberry scarf while sipping a piping hot pumpkin spice latte if it’s going to feel like I’m walking on the surface of the sun?! Does Mother Nature not know this weekend is the Shaw Art Fair and the Best of Missouri Market at the Botanical Gardens?!
This is my favorite weekend in Shaw! Basically, the Met Gala of the Midwest—the place to see and be seen (or not be seen, if you catch my drift 👻). It’s the end-all, be-all of Shaw weekends, and now I have to rethink everything.
I need an outfit that says, “I’m the OG basic B”, but also “I’m not trying to have a heatstroke on the Flora lawn.” Meanwhile, I have about 24 hours to finish off the last of my $45 huckleberry jam and my $23 beeswax soap. (I’m hesitant to connect the dots, but let’s just say there may be a link between that soap and the lingering BO I’ve had all year. 😖)
And don’t even get me started on the art. I have to make good on a promise to Bernie—she made me swear I wouldn’t buy any more paintings of possums under a rainbow until I’d hung up the ones I already own. Let’s just say, those possums aren’t going to hang themselves! 😜 #GetIt #ICrackMyselfUp
Now that I’ve trauma-dumped on you all, I’m off to my closet (and my toolbox) to figure this fashion crisis out. Happy fair-ing this weekend—and if you feel a slight breeze, just know it was me.
Kisses & chaos,
— Maggie 👻