Dear Maggie —

I’m the dad of three Dragons – 7th, 5th, and 2nd – and I am really scared about Halloween this year!  No, this is not about all of the ghosts and goblins roaming around the neighborhood – this is because my wife is out of town on a business trip for the next week and a half, and it’s my responsibility to get the kids ready for all of the Halloween doin’s at school this year.  And I heard about your column, and figured you’d be the best place to seek out help.  I’m slightly embarrassed that we’ve been at the school for like 10 years now, and I honestly don’t know a thing about what goes on for these holidays.  So, help an absentee absent-minded Dad out, and give me the scoop, please!

– Terrified Thomas

Hello Terrified –

I love that you’re getting into the Halloween spirit by even picking out a spooky name for yourself.  But trust me, there’s nothing to be scared of.  I’ve got you.

And I do love hearing from new readers like yourself!  How did I know?  No, it’s not that I naturally have the powers of ESP (that’s my cousin on my father’s side – Clarie Voyent! 🤣).  Do you know what is the most asked question every Fall in this column?  Teacher-conferences?  No.  Walk-A-Thon?  Absolutely not?  Picture day?  Not a chance!  It’s always HalloweenFest!  What is it? Where is it? When is it? (this one starts in September 🤷🏿‍♀️!)  And as any longtime reader of this column can tell you – I end up answering these questions in some way every year.

So, this time around, I’m going to put on my Scottish gypsy costume (it’s a thing – look it up), and pull out my tarot cards and crystal ball, and look into the not-so-distant past to find the answers for you.  OK, actually, I’m not doing any of that – I just jumped into Google and typed “Does St. Margaret of Scotland School hold a HalloweenFest every year?”  And the AI-generated response: “Yes, St. Margaret of Scotland School in St. Louis holds a HalloweenFest every year, with activities planned and organized by student leaders.”  And for sources, it quoted all of my past columns on the matter.  (You’re welcome, Google!)

Most notably…

HERE,

HERE,

and

HERE!

See, I keep telling you all I’m famous (or at least, internet famous!). You don’t get this many hits when you Google your name if there’s not some heat around it.  Take that, naysayers!!

And here’s a shocker!?!  Surprisingly, not much has changed over the years with the details – and most of what you need to know from this year can be found in this very newsletter this week – again, I know, shocker!

So, if you really want to know the backstory on all of this, by all means, feel free to revisit the past.  And if you just want to know about this year to CYA with your wife – yes, it’s next Tuesday, kids wear costumes, and there’ll be lots of fun and parties to go around.

And if you really want to know what terrifies me, it’s the thought that one of these years, STUCO is going to change it all up on me, and I’m going to have to start re-educating families all over again about what happens at SMOS for Halloween!  Oh, the confusion!  Oh, the disarray!  Oh, the horror!  At least then, I won’t be at risk of being replaced by AI.  That would be most frightening of all – becoming internet obsolete!!  Aaaaah!!!

Happy Halloween!

— Maggie