Dear Maggie —

I’m a bit of an old hag around here — not one of the newbies that usually write in! I’ve never submitted a question before, but I’ve read all of your columns. I’m a BIG 🪭!  (See, I even picked up on using emojis like your other readers!!)  To be honest, this isn’t so much a question as it is a vibe check.  I know Feast On Flad is this weekend, and we’re OG Feasters — we’ve been attending since Fr. O’Toole started it way back when.  What I really want to know is: will this just be the same old, same old?  Or is there something new and exciting planned this year that we can look forward to?

We always enjoy ourselves, but I’m getting a little bored with life these days – and am looking for more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to be a Karen here — I’m just managing expectations!  I know this takes a ton of work to pull off, and I’m so glad someone does.  I was just hoping there might be a touch of razzle-dazzle this year.

– Fangirl Fran

Dear Fangirl –

Brace yourself, I’m about to disappoint you (maybe) twice!  First, it’s me — Paige, not Maggie (#sorrynotsorry).  Second… there’s not exactly a surplus of razzle dazzle on the agenda this year.  Or, at least, no more razzle or dazzle than usual. I mean, it’s already pretty razzlely-dazzlely.  But hear me out!

Maggie’s been, shall we say… preoccupied.  She’s spent the entire week torturing her seamstress while “perfecting” her dress for the Feast Day celebration.  I believe we’re on fitting number ten — maybe eleven — and I can only assume altering a ghost’s gown is no small task. Poor Katia deserves hazard pay.

And as if that weren’t enough, Maggie’s been moonlighting as Tom Wethington’s “ghost writer” for the annual Feast Day play.  Unfortunately, she hasn’t quite mastered the “silent” part of silent partnership.  The poor man has gone through two red pens from all her edits.  (I think the word “feedback” has lost all meaning for him.)

Now, as for the usual razzle dazzle — I’ll admit it: it’s about the same as recent years past.  But if you ask me, that’s exactly how we like it.  Ruth Pera runs this event almost single-handedly, and every year it goes off without a hitch. I’d take smooth sailing over pyrotechnics any day.

And besides, maybe you should be the sparkle this year!  Bring that dazzling personality and razzle the crowd yourself.  I’m convinced razzling is contagious… or maybe that was ringworm I was thinking of? 🤔  Either way — spread the joy, not the germs!

Feast on Flad might not reinvent the wheel, but it always delivers — good food, great Scotch, great company, and that special SMOS spirit that never really gets old.  Show up, shine bright, and if you see Maggie floating by in her newly hemmed gown, give her a little wave (just not too close to the candlelight).  See you on Flad!

— Paige